Hey what’s going on guys, welcome back to another episode of The Live Loud life show. We can’t live that live show now to like podcasts, everyone’s got a podcast I’m just playing was call whatever we want, right? I am going to be doing a continuation of my recap, and sharing my journey with doing these psychedelic journeys. I’ve been telling everybody about this. And I’m trying to just be as open about it as possible so that other people who are dealing with similar things can maybe start researching, start asking some more questions and get curious about it, which is that’s been the coolest thing about this is so many people are just like, wow, that’s really interesting. And I’m very curious about that. Tell me more, where do I learn about more, and then providing some resources kind of around it from at least what I’ve seen, and what I’ve known, which is still like, I feel like I’m just at the tip of the iceberg of this. But I’ve been very, very excited about this. And the reason why is I’ve just felt stuck for so long, and stuck man in a bad way. But not in a good way. You know what I mean? I just felt like, there were certain things in my life where I was just going through the motions. And I couldn’t really get any further. And a lot of this was which, which I’ve been reflecting on and I want to share about is, is for all the output and work I’ve been doing. And part of this is patience and knowing some things take time. But I feel like for all the efforts and things that we’ve been doing, we were seeing minimal outcome or improvements for which argumentatively is part of the systems, the processes, the bottom the model for certain things and refining the which is part of the journey, again, and so I’m not getting hung up on that. But part of what we were doing within the seasons of life, I have four kids, my oldest just turned eight yesterday. So we are eight, five and a half, three and a half and six months. And I know there are other people that are doing other things. Greg, big, great big things that have more kids. And it’s not about a competition on that. But for us right now is we’re just poor. We’re tired. You know, like this morning, I was up at 3am with the youngest because he wasn’t sleeping well. And my wife had been up with him multiple times throughout the night. So I tried to you know, help out from what I could, excuse me. And that ended up with him sleeping well from like 330 to five 530 on me, but then I was wide awake. And it’s kind of hard to keep a child awake and then want to read to have the light on. It was a holding, I’m not going to do it. Anyway, so that’s the season of life we’re in. And we’re just feel like we’re just I was just running myself into the ground. And as I described already, is that my blood work was showing that right? My cortisol levels were high. Stress markers were high. testosterone levels were low that was affecting mood and energy levels, so on and so forth. And so it’s just like, I need a revamp. And yes, a lot of that revamp is because of what I was describing was a physical symptom or ailment. But it was because of all the stress and all the anxiety that I had that was basically just running me into the ground, whether that wasn’t sleeping as deeply as I could, and then making maybe not optimal choices when it came to diet or exercise or you know, and that’s the hard part of what we’re dealing with health care is it’s so multifactorial as you cannot just say this one thing is causing this there are some instances where it’s like okay, well clearly you broke a bone, you know what I mean? But even then you could say, Okay, well, how did you break the bone? Was it by sheer accident? Right? Was there a loading issue that was happening? Could we have been stronger? Could we have not put ourselves in the situation regardless of we’re just trying to indicate that the recovery process in whatever this is we’re talking about health and fitness is a multifactorial approach. And for me I always just thought about the physical. I always just thought about the physical I thought my mental fortitude if you will, was pretty solid. But now in seeing this and opening up my mind and my consciousness around this stuff is like I was not in a good place. And I wasn’t in a bad place where I was having negative thoughts about doing something obviously about it, but I was definitely having negative thoughts towards myself towards my abilities. You know, jealous thoughts about other people and what they’ve been doing because I maybe wasn’t there and a lot of comparison and things that would be considered just not healthy for the individual and your mind. and thus limiting yourself for your growth in what you’ve been able to do. And I just always struggled with that whole concept of like, your mindset and getting your mindset, right, because I just felt so stuck, I was just in this loop that I could not get out of. And I feel like we’re just breaking down. Now this barrier to get me out of the loop to be able to do more. And so I’ve been reflecting a lot about, you know, how I might have gotten here. And I think there’s a number of things that might have happened. And not any one in particular, that stands out more than the others. And a lot of it was just, you know, friend groups between middle school and high school, the way that they acted and treated people and that rubbing off on me when I know that wasn’t me, or, you know, just certain instances, that just kind of just reflecting in my mind that I was just hanging on to and that’s what the second journey session was about. And I’m gonna get into it here in a little bit more, but but I’ve been in a really good healthy reflection way recently. And it’s more about awareness. And we talked about this so much from a physical standpoint, but But now I’ve been talking even more about from a mental standpoint, for excuse me, prenatal moms, postnatal moms, people are dealing with chronic injuries is this and I don’t want to use the word mindset, because I feel like it’s overdrawn in the sense of just more of a voice awareness. Right. So when you’re dealing with pain or injuries, and this could be physical or mental pain, right, as being aware about the triggers that are causing it, right? Do you have control over do not have control over it. And in regardless of what those the inputs or the external environment is, that’s triggering it is, those are all outside of you, there’s only one thing that you have control over. And it’s your response. And that’s what I was not doing well are having healthy responses to certain situations, and those were just slowly eating away at me or tacking on. And the same holds true for the physical response, right? It’s just like, Okay, well, I’m in physical pain. If there was an external thing that caused the pain, ie I might have lifted too much, or whatever that is, I don’t have control over what I just did. I can be more mindful about a next time. But now I’m in pain, what am I going to do about it? It could be rest, it could be movement, and lots of different things, right. And so the same holds true in mind when we’re sitting there is I’m feeling a certain way feelings are bad, but why am I feeling this way? And can that thought is that thought actually critical or important to what’s going on right now? Or can it something that just floats away, but I would tend to just hang on to those and then just replay it, and have almost like this internal conflict in my head, what seemed to be 24/7, and it’s obviously not 24/7, but to be quite frequent, and then just getting stuck in that loop. Right. And so last time, as a recap, I found this sense of peace. And it’s been the integration part as as indicated, the medicine and the journeys hold, own as there’s like the stamp mark of this change. But the integrative model and how it applies to the rest of your day in your life is the critical part. And that’s the work this is like a lot of times, and that was there’s almost like this guilt, and doing this as like, I shouldn’t need to do this, like I need to be mentally stronger. That’s the whole like issue, right? Is it’s okay, it’s like this, the road that I’m taking is the path that I need and the road that I need. And I needed some help I needed some help from these medicines to get me through what I’m going through. And and I completely lost my train of thought was that and so what I was referring to though is is getting stuck is oh, it’s it’s not that I’m just like taking this medicine and doing this trip and I come fixed it there’s work to be done. And every day I’m still trying to do this work to figure out a little bit more about how this applies to me my paws airplane overhead I apologize. Tea or Coffee SIP